![]() Rights, for instance, is upset that you’ve made her a into one-dimensional love interest, Dr. We’ve received a number of complaints… Dr. “Actually, I was more concerned about the portrayal of yourself and your fellow co-workers. “That was understandable If I stuck too close to the truth our entire operation would be compromised.” “I also understand you’ve taken some… ‘liberties’ with the source material.” And even if they do say something, Boll and Friedberg would be the ones to blame, not us.” Plus, I sent everyone large checks to get them to stay quiet about it. They forged some paperwork saying that they had signed over their ‘Digital Likenesses’ to Boll at some point, and got “Popular Science” to do an article about the technology the movie was supposedly made with. “I had a talk with our legal department to help me with the cover story. ![]() “But what about the actors? How did you-” “Um, I mean, do you think I’m an idiot or something?” “…Yeah yeah, I gave them both A-Class Amnesics.” Dr. If ‘Zhee best fucking genius in zee business’ ever said anything, he’d lose whatever shred of credibility he still has.” “Please, that guy has less credibility than a neo-nazi at a bar-mitzvah. “May I remind you that bringing civilians here was a serious breach in security…” With any luck, Marshall, Carter and Dark will also be more hesitant about doing business, what with their name being associated with that wisecracking Lex Luthor ripoff.” Now everyone thinks that the leaked documents are part of some sort of Alternate Reality Game for a horrible Uwe Boll movie. Edison smugly replied, “I just wrote up a script, sent a crack team of mercenaries to track down and kidnap Uwe Boll and Friedberg, told them who was going to be in it, and gave them an hour each with SCP-721. “Well, I suppose that’s one way to handle an information leak…” O5-█ turned away from the screen. Text below the logo says “Thanksgiving Day”* *Fade to black, and then fade into the words “SCP” in silver letters, with a large number of obligatory movie credits at the bottom of the screen. Edison (played by Brad Pitt) is walking away from an exploding SCP-682.* *…and Bright just standing there, while an obviously fake pair of monkey hands rises in front of him, and cracks their knuckles.* *Cut to scene of Yoric loading a shotgun…* NARRATOR: …Comes this year’s blockbuster romantic comedy sci-fi action thriller, that will knock. Bright’s voice is very badly dubbed in.* WEEEE! NO HANDS! *Farts* GEARS (still in monotone): Can’t you go any faster, damn it?ĭR. NARRATOR: …and one of the two directors responsible for “Epic Movie”… *Dr Aeish (played by some no-talent spanish guy) jumps in from out of nowhere wearing a puffy suit and holding a sword.*ĭr. *Cut to scene of people with guns wearing armor that “D-Class” being mowed down by “Marshall Carter" (played by Keven Spacey) using a machine gun labeled “Dark. NARRATOR: From the creative direction of Uwe Boll… Generic rock music loops in the background.* Bright (played by Bobo the monkey, voiced by Richard Simmons). From left to right: Yoric (also played by Tommy Wiseau), Dr. *Cut to three people marching down a sparsely-decorated corridor, wearing sunglasses and trenchcoats. *Show footage of people in robes praying to the unconscious body of SCP-76-2 (AKA Able), played by Robert Pattinson.*ĪGENT O-5: If they are not stopped, the world… no, the universe, could be in danger. *Show men in ski masks carrying a wooden coffin down the street in broad daylight.*ĪGENT O-5: A bunch of terrorists ‘ave stolen *obvious jump in dialogue* zee coffin, of a *another obvious jump* vampire overlord. Gears (Ben Stein) and Agent O-5 (Tommy Wiseau) goes on in the background, with Gears talking in monotone and Agent O-5 having a ridiculously strong accent.* Camera slowly zooms up to a folder marked “SCP”. *The trailer opens up in a burning building.
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